Then, yesterday, we had a New Year's party. He was all laughing and joking on about it. It pisses me off because he was exaggerating it and it was all his fault in the first place. At the party, we played lots of card games and it was pretty amusing. During Egyptian war, two people had slapped it at once. The guy's hand was on the Jack, so the girl said, "You take the Jack and I'll take the rest." XD It was amusing when we played Spoons, too.

There you have it. The search ends up failing. I was so sure that I brought it home though... -_- I want to know why I have these moments of short-term memory loss. It's not good for people. School tomorrow. Not good.

If book not in locker, then dead.
Converse: If dead, then book not in locker.
Inverse: If book in locker, then not dead.
Contrapositive: If not dead, then book in locker.

Our new Lit teacher is fine, but nothing compared to our old one. He seems like kind of a boring person... Since it was his first day, he made us play the name game. I was sitting at the end, so I had to recite everyone's names and what they did. T_T I hate these things. I have heard that he's only temporary, though. A lady came in when class was just ending and told him, "We have found a possible candidate." This confirms it a bit. By the way, I only accidentally overheard. :P The teacher's desk is right behind where I sit.

[ Conversation after class today. ]
M: Hey, S, are you free the last Friday of January?
S: Yeah...
M: Good, stay that way!

I don't know how I feel about him. I don't really talk to him much. When we do talk, we talk about anime and manga. We both like Someday's Dreamers (Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto) and one day, he walked up to me with the manga. I'm like, "Wow, that's cool." I thought he was going to lend it to me, but then he just went away. It was really weird, though. ^^;;

There are a lot of things I regret. What I regret most is that I didn't talk to her about things until now. I never got to know her as well as I wanted to. I never got to spend as much time with her as I wanted to. We used to fight a lot, I remember. It wasn't till about sixth grade or so that we started getting along. I don't even remember why we fought so much. All that I know is that I wished I could go back to change it...

People called me during lunch. I was happy to hear from them, but they were seriously bored. I was asking my friend about something and then there was a pause. When she started talking again, she was like, "What? I didn't hear you; I was taking a bite out of my sandwich." XD My lunch was... not that great. I tried having chicken soup, but the only kind we had was the Campbell kind. Two spoonfuls, then I chucked it.

On happier notes, I'm not sick anymore. Now, even my nose congestion is better. I feel like my old self, whatever that is. XD And now I have homework to make up. -_- Well, that day off really helped.

I have one of those small Xhilaration bags with the many pockets. During the choir concert, I brought that bag one night. I was able jam in my cell, my GBA SP, and two GBA games. I couldn't fit anymore stuff, but I was happy with that. The bag cost about $10 and it doesn't look half bad. What's the point of getting such fancy bags that can't fit much?

Now, Lit is one of my most hated classes. At first, we thought the new teacher was okay. The first class we had together, he made us play the Name Game. It was typical. After that, he just doesn't really do anything with the class. We do worksheets, he reads the book to us. We don't have our discussions. It's not interesting. I have no will to work in that class anymore. I don't even know what to write for our assignment.

You know what? I actually think my brother isn't that bad. I'm pretty sure I'll change that thought sometime later, but for now, I'll say it. Of course, he has really bad points. Like he doesn't treat people the way he should and he gets too mad easily. I could go on forever listing the things that he should change. I think that when I actually talk to him and not lose my patience and yell at him, that he listens. He listens and does what I say he should do. In truth, I do want to be a role-model for him. Because when I was his age, I remember how much I looked up to my sister. I want him to look up to me too...

I finally got to see my grade for the Lit assignment from last semester today. It was a sort of biography that linked with the Odyssey. In this autobiography, I wrote about my ex-crush and my problem with the two guys now. How my friend tried to set me up and everything. She gave some really good advice and I'm really glad that I wrote about it. She said that I should cherish the current friendship I have, to wait and see what happens. I feel a bit more secure after hearing this. Besides, there's no rush, right? :D

Site stats: I'm glad I'm getting a good number of hits on my writing site, even though my poetry sucks. ^^;; Also, there have been search hits for "how to ask someone to Sadies." To tell you the truth, that's the same problem I've been having. -_-

And in Japanese today, our teacher was gossiping. It was so hilarious. She was talking to this girl who was dating this guy, like a couple the whole school knows about. Sensei was like, "You should go date other people while you can. After I got married, it became boring." XD Oh my gosh, it was so funny. We were all doing worksheets and laughing our heads off.

So, just because we are supposedly inferior, my friends are being picked on by those oh-so-high people. My first friend just gave a small comment and is now being mobbed by them. She's already apologized once, need there be any more hate from those people? My second friend made a small comment on a picture of one of the higher classed girls and now she's being picked on. This midget bitch keeps throwing food at her, saying, "Eat it." I mean, what the hell? She said she was sorry, too.

And my other friend is saying how the popular are more united while we are not. How true. Then she also says how everyone are people and they all have dreams and stuff. Basically, she was trying to make peace. So was I. For me, it was always, "I leave you alone, leave me alone." Yet, I know how it feels to be picked on. When I was little and went to after school daycare centers, I was picked on all the time. And I never had friends at those places to stand up for me.

Now, I want to stand up for these friends of mine, but I'm just too much of a coward. Even though I want to say something back to the people, I hesitate because I don't want trouble from them. However... if it means that I get my friend out safe, I think I would do it. It's just that life doesn't work out that way. We'll both end up getting hurt. I guess it would be better to suffer with my friend than to have her suffer alone.

So, it feels like the house suddenly turned into a hotel of some sort. The Chinese courtesy and all: "If you need anything, please help yourself or get someone to help you." It's like calling for room service in the middle of the night or something and perhaps it'll turn out to be me doing this. My two cousins are 11 and 5. I was friends with the 11-year-old, but having been apart for so long, it feels really awkward. Both my parents and her parents are like, "Do you remember?" We both reply in the same manner, a yes while smiling and nodding. I can't say I don't remember, which is partly true.

I don't understand what's with my memory issues. I think there are some times when it's that I choose not to remember. Like, there are some painful memories from the past about my after school day care centers. Those were the places where I was picked on. It was the same reason each time, as well. Even being the youngest, I did the best in the class. Therefore, I was shunned by the older students and even one the same age as I was. I remember these people still and some go to my school. I try my best to avoid them. I think they do the same. Also, I can just barely remember about the time I went to the daycare center with my ex-crush. Only a few years ago, I just don't think of so clearly anymore. Maybe I just don't want to.

Also, the akward feeling has gone down a bit after talking with my aunt and uncle today. I was praised for how great my Chinese speech and writing is. It's funny that it was the cause of my being picked on, as well. I've always been complimented on my neat handwriting for both Chinese and English. I don't hate getting these compliments from my teacher, but they always do it at the front of the class. As for the speech, I was sent to Chinese daycare centers from when I was in first grade. In third grade, I switched to another place. And then in fourth grade, I went to the last one I'd go to. For the first two, they mainly focused on Chinese, so that's why I'm okay at it.

These kinds of compliments always prompt statements like, "You should work on your handwriting." "You should be as smart as she is." It makes me feel really awkward afterwards because the person begins to hate me for it. I'm a freak for pleasing people and not wanting them to have anything against me. Also, recently, in Bio, we did an assignment where we had to sketch a cell.

Me: I can't draw.
A: Your sketch is so good. You perfectionist.
Me: I'm not a perfectionist. ^^;;
B: But your things always turn out perfect anyway.

It made me feel kind of bad, the way she said it.

For those of you wondering, yes, this was a true conversation between me and a friend of mine. I'm feeling the peer pressure now. Oh, well. I'll survive. ^.-

So yesterday, we went over to my grandma's house. It's making me dizzy because all my aunts were in one house. We watched TV, played some card games, and that's pretty much how we spent the afternoon. We went out to eat again, since it was more convenient. We ate at Fresh Choice. And I really want to know what it is with old people and buffets. XD Well, anyhow, I went to get something and when I came back to the table, my cousin had this hugeass pile of ice cream in her bowl. I was gaping at the bowl for about five minutes. She said that the machine was broken; it had gushed out. I was really amused because she was saying how three management people were cluttered around the machine, trying to fix it.

Also, it was kind of scary how the police were there too. I don't know exactly what happened, but the mother was saying how she heard her daughter screaming. I just walked by, so I didn't hear much. My uncle was asking about the difference between security guards and police officers. He said that security guards don't carry guns and the person who was there had a gun, so it was a police officer. I don't know much, but don't both have guns? Anyhow, I should go ask my friend about that, since her father's a police officer. ^^;;

1. Stanford (I doubt I'll make it in, but oh well.)
2. Caltech (Haha, like I'm ever gonna make it there.)
3. UCLA (Must look into this further.)
4. UC Berkeley (I don't really mind, I think.)

I must think of SATs first, I guess. Meh, I suck at English. I fall asleep in Lit... I should pay more attention from now on and work harder. I should also start studying. -_-;;

I asked my crush to Sadies today. It took me two tries. At lunch, I had the perfect chance to ask, but didn't. One person came by selling candy, saying, "I know you have change!!!" Then the bell ring just as I was about to ask. After school, I went to his locker and asked him there. He said sure, then left. It felt really awkward. Both my friends that were a bit away congratulated me, even though I felt really bad inside.

But he might not go because no one else is going. We both agreed that we were going as friends and not as a couple. However, not many other people are going. So he asked me if he had to go. I said that he didn't. He was saying how he didn't want to be a jerk like my ex-crush, so he would go. I said I didn't mind and that he really didn't have to go. I seriously mean it, though. Well, I hope it isn't awkward tomorrow when I actually see him... Talking on AIM is one thing, talking in person is another. If it really is awkward, I will really regret asking him to the dance.

Bro: Your laundry's done.
Me: Oh, could you get it for me?
Bro: Yeah, sure.
Me: Thanks.

I want to get along with him, I really do. Also, things get me thinking that we have a pretty mutual relationship. I mean, he could come in to my room and steal things while I'm not home and I could do the same to him. However, we trust each other enough not to do either. I used to steal my sis's stuff, I remember. I was really bad when I was little...